So there's a guy at the office with nifty hair. Ever since he stopped wearing vests and collared shirts his hair has looked even niftier than it did before.

So today he was like, "Oh, I like your piercings," referring to the conch piercings in my ear.
I said, "Thanks, they were a graduation present to myself." 
And he said, "I too got myself a graduation present." 
"What, your motorcycle?" 
"No, something more like yours. Your piercings, I mean."

He hasn't got anything in his face.

My mind slipped right into the gutter.

It took all my willpower to maintain eye contact and say, "Cool. OK."