"Article idea - the IOC rejected Saudi Arabia's bid to hold the Olympics cuz they wanted to have the men compete in Saudi Arabia and the women in Bahrain."
"Wait seriously?"
"They can't handle women in sportswear. Saudi Arabia only sent like two women athletes to the last Olympics. So they're letting Bahrain handle the women in sportswear."

"Well, when they had the Olympics in the 50s in Australia, they didn't have the equestrian events there because it was too associated with gambling."
"Wasn't Australia full of criminals? Why would they have a thing against gambling?"
"No, that was because of the horse plague."
"When they had the Olympics in Beijing they had all the equestarian events in Hong Kong."
"Why Hong Kong?"
"Hong Kong has better stadiums."
"Also they were afraid of getting horse plague."
"Seems weird to hold it so far away from the other events."
"Well, when Brazil had the World Cup, they put stadiums all over the country to show off their majestic rain forests."
"Which sucked for every team because of all the travelling. Except Argentina. Argentina had all their matches in two stadiums. People complained about that."
"No they didn't. Why would Brazil let their biggest rival have the best match schedule?"
"FIFA is so corrupt. They held an internal audit to determine whether or not they were corrupt and the audit came back and it was 'yep we're not corrupt.'"
"FIFA made Brazil legalize drinking in its stadiums before they let them host the World Cup."
"That's kinda uncool."
"Well, it might have been a provision of the bid."
"That makes it better, I guess."
"How drunk would a pro soccer team need to be before we could beat them?"
"What do you mean how drunk? And who's 'we?'"
"We as in we the people in this office. And in terms of BAC."
"What?"
"Blood alcohol content, At 0.1 you get loud, at 0.2 you start to black out, and at 0.5 you probably die."
"Well, if it's Latvia, probably 0.2. If it's Germany or Brazil a 0.5."
"Oh, ye of little faith!"
"Do any of you actually play soccer?"
"I'm a goalkeeper, actually."
"We might have a chance then. Maybe a 0.4 for Germany?"
"What's the LD50 for alcohol?"
"Uh, about 13 shots. About 600ccs? So nearly one of the big bottles of vodka?"
"Hey we could try it here! There's vodka in the fridge!"
"I know a girl who had 13 shots. But she puked it out."
"If you puke you're probably gonna be OK. But there's a 50% chance that you'll puke and we'll have to clean it up. Or you might die, and we'd have to clean that up."
"It wouldn't be so bad to clean up a dead body."
"I hear if you die you lose control of your bowels."
"Ew. Don't do that in my office. Moving on to these other equally fascinating article ideas that need writing...."