Just watched E2S10 of BSG and holy shit, I was warned it was a three parter, but now I have to watch the other two otherwise I won't be able to fall asleep tonight, or read the episode synopses on wikipedia. Can only imagine how it must've been when the series was first airing on TV. 

So I've been busy. New things I've found that I love:
- Battlestar Galactica - I'm in Season 2, it's just so freakin good, I can't believe I'd never watched it before!
- Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American - So I've heard a bunch of their tracks on fanmixes but never listened to one of their albums straight through until now. How did I miss this too?? Any one of Cautioners, Authority Song, or Sundown Song would've been great closers... and all three together? I never stood a chance.
- Kat Black's Golden Tarot - IDK, the collage style and the alternately pained and awkward faces just really speak to me, yknow?

And I guess I can write about this now, since it's done. I ran a short 8-session 5e homebrew. It was called the Necromancer of Asterlee. The big bad was a necromancer at the top of a mountain, who turned out to be an old dwarven bard with red hair. His name was Erich. Hence, Erich of Asterlee. Say that out loud. I was pretty proud of myself. There are a few things I wish I'd done differently, including not having forgotten to roll Erich's initiative in the penultimate battle, poorly balancing the actual final battle, and perhaps a few other balance issues. But I was happy with the low-key magic items I made, the dungeon maps, and the overall structure. And also happy that Krogoth enjoyed his first dip into the game. I'm still not sure I'm cut out for the DM role, temperamentally speaking, but I'm glad to know that I can do it in a pinch.

Anyways, a quick, poorly-spelled recap of the highlights -

• ( plot summary )
•  

Yeah and there I thought that was gonna be, like, 2 sessions, 3 sessions max. What a pile of lies that was. But a delightful pile of lies, indeed.

 last night I talked with Shivani for about three hours straight to workshop the plot of The Devil's in the Details. I think we got some good subplots and motivations out of it, especially for Percy Weasley. I'm personally hoping for him to find his true calling as a noir detective under Mad-Eye Moody's monologuing tutelage, but it's all to the author's discretion.    

Not participating in NaNoRiMo this year (or any year, really) but I'm hoping to finish drafting and start posting my Good Omens/Tristan and Iseult short story by the end of the month. 

Gods dammit what is wrong with me, I feel like a flimsy net sack absolutely stuffed with tennis balls, except that each tennis ball is an emotion I can only exorcise by listening to the saddest music in existence

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Current reading backlog: 

- Harrow the Ninth (again) 
- Tristan and Iseult (again)
- The Eye of the Labyrinth 
- Lord of the Shadows
- Return of the Thief
- Mistborn ( :/ ) 

 Turns out if you put seven hundred hours into a game the muscle memory doesn't go away. I can make headshots just as well as I could last year (which is to say, with great mediocrity). 

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The tiefling wizard/cleric scored the worlds most sicknasty crit on Tuesday when we were fighting a demon in the basement of a murder mansion. There she was, almost all out of spell slots, until she went up to the scaly boi and booped him on the snout to the tune of about 60 necrotic damage with a fourth-level Inflict Wounds. 

Oh, she paid for it after - the creature used a legendary action to stun the wizard, taking her out for the rest of the fight. But worse off were my human monk and the warforged artificier/bloodhunter, who were knocked out after trying to drag the wizard out of the fray and getting yeeted against a wall, respectively. 

In the end, it was the changeling warlock's maddening hex who took the demon out. His maddening hex does five damage. Five! 




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Spotify playlists have rearranged themselves into the following: 

1. Queerest synths on the planet
2. Taylor Swift & friends
3. Old Brits
4. The angstiest country music on the planet. 
5. The Lord of the Rings soundtrack, but in the wrong order and mixed with other stuff. 
6. The Weeknd and his less-talented associates

Of the six people in my Saturday D&D group, at least two of us are poly, at least three are not heterosexual, and at least one is nonbinary. I don't know how this happened, or what the chances of this are, but I guess it's cool it did.

I also let the DM know of the overall plot arc for my paladin, but why does it now feel like I've signed her death sentence? At least I get inspiration for next week, so I probably won't die immediately...

In other news, I'm DONE MY THIRD STORY (except for the author's notes, which shall come next week.) I like it... less... than my second. It has its good moments, but the third act is not earth-shatteringly amazing, there's a mildly contrived second-act plot device, and imo it's pretty clear I started running into mad writer's block and struggling with putting words on screen around Chapter 8. Shivani assures me it's good, at least because the writing is polished and stuff, but for such a wonderful person her taste tends alarmingly towards the fluffy and cute. 

And here are the classes we've determined for our favourite mythological characters: 

Odysseus: Mastermind Rogue
Gilgamesh: Paladin of Glory
Enkidu: Storm Herald Barbarian? 
Achilles: also a Paladin of Glory
Cu Chulainn: either the angriest Moon Druid or a Paladin of Conquest
Perseus: Champion Fighter

Read a book - came highly recommended as one that would warm the coldest cockles of my heart and reinspire my faith in humanity and stuff. 

It was beautiful and charming. The little nods to the fourth wall at the ends of Chapter 19 and the epilogue were very delicate, very light. And somehow... I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would.

Linus Baker is a great POV character. I understand why so many people fall in love with him and the islanders, and I nearly cried towards the end when the wyvern gave Linus the brass button.

But did it end too neatly as the institutions responsible for the repression of magical folk began to be dismantled? Was there too much whimsy and light without enough darkness and cruelty to balance it out? Was it too preachy, or am I just a monster who doesn't care about love and acceptance and belonging? Are the child side characters just too preciously written, or am I child-hating bogeyman? Is Arthur a Marty Stu who never loses control, or does he just happen to have mysterious parentage and bottomless reserves of empathy? Is the setting timeless and quaint, or does the worldbuilding beg for details that aren't there? 

Many might also draw parallels between The House in the Cerulean Sea and Good Omens. Linus reminds me strongly of Aziraphale, but there's no Crowley analogue to balance out the lightness. And Linus's final confrontation with Management is... lacking in teeth, maybe. Or very one-sided. And then there's Lucy, the antichrist of The House in the Cerulean Sea, who could be roughly compared to Adam of Good Omens. Lucy says things about darkness and blood and the end of the world and stuff, but as Linus observes, he doesn't really mean it most of the time - it's usually in the name of shock value.  How do they know his parentage?  What exactly makes him dangerous? How will he end the world? Whereas Adam does mean it when he says he wants to remake the world. 

I think at the end of the day, I have a very low tolerance for sweetness and sentimentality. I want murder, mayhem, and melodrama. The fluffiest book I own is The Fairy Godmother, which suffers from typical Lackey flaws - the pace drags, the character development is quite on-the-nose, and everyone gets their just desserts at the end. But I love the book anyways because the characters are occasionally cruel or at least petty, the fair stands alongside the foul, and most of all, the worldbuilding and the protagonist's agency in it just hits all the soft spots in my heart. 

The House in the Cerulean Sea doesn't push those buttons for me. I strongly recommend it if you have a good tolerance for fluff. Do I still do starred reviews? If so, then this is a 2/5.

Someone is leaving comments on every chapter of every story I've written and I just feel so appreciative and vindicated and happy about it! 

And other commentators have picked up on my eleventh-hour plot twist and normally I'd feel nervous about it but this one is, like, a bonus plot twist that needs to be heavily foreshadowed to work properly, and Meghan Whalen Turner is still my authorial idol, so those comments make me happy too! 

All the comments make me happy! 

Oh and the office is giving us a $500 home-office expense allowance for equipment so I'll finally get the monitor arms I wanted! Twin arms are OK but my setup is such that I think two single arms would work better. 

Last night I dreamed I was in high school again, but it was the fun kinda dream, not the type where you dream you have a test you haven't studied for, or homework you haven't done. It was a school trip of some sort, and I just felt really warm and fuzzy surrounded by so many people that I knew and liked, people that I hadn't seen in nearly ten years, people that I'll very likely never see again. So warm and fuzzy was the dream that when I woke up I was filled with a sense of having lost it all anew. I'm happier and more creatively fulfilled than I've ever been but my mind often drifts backwards into the past and I just think about all the experiences and people and memories that have fallen away over the years. 

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According to this twitter thread, there is no “favorite” on folklore rather it is “what baggage do you have." So in this post I'll be going through my favourite songs on folklore and examining my personal baggage. 

the last great american dynasty: you have a tendency to daydream and raise expectations way too much, it gets to a point where everyday life becomes disappointing

I actually don't relate to this song at all, I like the song for it's little third-act stinger.  

exile ft. bon iver: either you personally experienced or your parents had a very bad/toxic relationship

Ha ha ha so exile is my favourite song on folklore, and I was 100% Justin Vernon's part in this song, who shall henceforth be Justin #4 after Potato Justin, Prime Minister Justin, and Orc Druid Justin.

this is me trying: you’re obviously going through it and i hope you get to where you want to be... i believe in you

I'm doin fine actually, my 4 biggest problems right now are: 
- my mom threw out my old fashion magazines from 2005 when I was away
- I had a mosquito bite on one eyelid that made it hard to see
- I thought that my 3rd fanfic was sort of rubbish but I just reread the 12 chapters I already posted and it's not actually that bad, I can still pull it off 
- do I want to take a stat increase or a feat on my Polearm Master Vengeance Paladin when she hits level 4? 
So yes I suppose my denial sounds pretty defensive but I'm fine

ephipany: you’ve most likely lost someone very important in your life, probs healed by now but you still miss them intensely every now and then

I like this song because it sounds pretty but yes this is also 100% true

betty: you’re gay... is there more to say i don’t think so

Yeah, as a bi person this checks out  

I got hype for Taylor Swift's 8th album and boy was it a swerve. In a good way, mostly. Here are my takes for each track.

1. the 1 - best album opener since State of Grace... which doesn't say a lot... but it's definitely, like, if I Forgot You Existed went acoustic and changed the lyrics and then decided to go and, no big deal, just decided to punch you in the face. 3/5
2. cardigan - oh this sounds like a mellower version of Don't Blame Me. I've never liked comparison to pieces of clothing though. Baby, you're like my favourite pair of socks. 3/5
3. the last great american dynasty - the propulsive production and story structure are both excellent. 4/5.
4. exile (feat. Bon Iver) - Justin Vernon's voice adds great contrast and texture to TS's. The production is so good they could've been singing about boiled peas, and I'd still love it. But it's not, so this is Top 3 Taylor. 5/5.
5. my tears ricochet - spectacularly bitter, but terrible title. This is a song about a funeral, but I would still have liked to see some more pep to back up the lyrics. 2/5.
6. mirrorball - the glittering centerpiece of a very, very slow disco. a fantastic bit of atmosphere that is in no short supply on this album. 3/5
7. seven - I like the flow of the chorus and the outro but something here isn't clicking for me. 2/5.
8. august - I like the production. Great outro. It's very pretty. 3/5.
9. this is me trying - feels like driving through the night, and seeing the sun rise over the edge of the hills in the distance and light up the morning fog around you, until everything is enveloped in a pink and gold haze. 4/5.
10. illicit affairs - i like the lyrics a lot. but I feel like there's something missing from the production. I suppose it matches the theme of the lyrics though - that there's nothing grand about a "illicit affairs" - they end with a whimper, not a bang. 2/5
11. invisible string - I think this one should have been the album closer. The talk about fate and the invisible string relates to the theme of folklore, and I appreciate the sentiment. That said, this song blends into the ones around it. 2/5
12. mad woman - a song called mad woman should be madder. I get a bit of sarcasm, but... there could be more. 2/5
13. epiphany - or make THIS the album closer. This is gorgeous. 4/5.
14. betty - modern Taylor filtered through the lenses of Speak Now Taylor. And Speak Now, though not as immediate and personal to me as 1989, and without the standout tracks of Red, is I think one of her most consistent pieces of work. No skips, and I can recall the hook of every track on the album from memory. Also, on first listen I thought this was definitely a queer song? I'm still not convinced that James is always a man's name. I wish I'd had this song when I was 17. 5/5
15. peace - I like the sentiment here but there are several moments where the words feel kinda clumsy. This feels like more like spoken word poetry than a full song. 2/5
16. hoax - this is... not very highly ranked on my list of album closers. I don't feel it "completes" the story like Long Live, Clean, Daylight, Begin Again, or New Years Day did. It doesn't stand out among other tracks. I don't really understand why this, and not, say, Invisible String, was the album closer. 2/5.

In summary, there are no bad songs on the album, merely underwhelming ones. I think the back half of the album drags a bit, and that there's a shorter, better album hidden inside it somewhere. That said, I really enjoy the album as a whole, and the atmosphere.

However, I have more hot takes.

( MORE HOT TAKES THIS WAY )