I finally emailed my employer on Friday about salary/paperwork and he responded within fifteen minutes, which pleased me greatly. 

When neko deactivated Her Other Blog, I had the o_o face at first. Later that week I realized word of This LJ had spread. Not weird at all but don't tell my probation officer too.

Is TVtropes on the xkcd community map?

I never really realized how much I identified with Minority until this week. Minority as a form of hipsterism? Minority as to avoid being the majority? Not sure.

There's a line in it - "A face in the crowd unsung against the mold. Without a doubt, singled out. The only way I know."  - Minority as an identity? Verily, it is easier to reject a set of beliefs than to develop a new one.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

It's unfortunate. And applies to a lot of things I do. Really unfortunate. Habits are hard to break. I don't think I've ever had experienced a night of drinking that turned out well. Ever. It's much like the adage that nothing good happens after 2AM, in that the high points are so few that I hardly remember any, though the psychology is different. Late nights are more of a reward-on-random-attempt example. Bad nights are more foot-in-door - as in, "I've already started so don't stop me now." With a physical context, as in, "How much can I take before I can't take a step?" (Answer: TBD.) Or because I subconsciously believe that near the very end I will be granted reality-bending superpowers? I wrote an answer to this months ago but today I learned that my phone deletes old messages automatically. A pity. Whenever I read old posts or emails or anything it's difficult to imagine why I wrote it or the mood I was writing them in. Sometimes it becomes necessary to verify consistency. 

I am reluctant to send you the requested document because I am unsure if I still agree with what I wrote. Self-censorship at its worst, yeah. And to stick a disclaimer on it feels desperate. To not put a disclaimer on it feels misleading. 

Whyever it is, every one of those nights started out pretty ok and I can always pinpoint the moment of thought where a good night goes bad. And if I were keeping track, which I'm not, because it would be particularly masochistic, and to make notes of common themes - damn.

How many times can you have the same epiphany? How many times? And is it still an epiphany if it's in the face of, oh, willful blindness? #soberepiphany

John Cleese is my current favourite internet columnist and Make this go on forever is my favourite Snow Patrol song.

Something else odd - recently, I've found myself with that particular lurch in my stomach or a shiver over my skin. It's either because I'm more aware of it now or because the frequency of occurrences is increased. My mom can give herself goosebumps with sheer force of will. 

By the way I do have the requested document pasted into a draft on gmail. If I ask you why you want it you'll just say "curious". And that 'suggestion' - I've often thought I succeeded, actually. "But just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in." Or maybe, I pull me back in. 

I dreamed I was at work and was warned for my abuse of internet access. Then I was forced to calculate sanitary sewer population densities of the building where I worked. It was horrible.

I will endeavour not to rewrite my own history. Also, I bought ginger ale and vodka, and then found a ten dollar bill on someone's lawn. Ahh, boozing up pays. 

Alcohol as a symbolic form of suicide
I don't have much to support it.

- The phrase "drowning our romantic sorrows"
- Upon blackout or passout, mysterious things occur and are said that are lost to one forever.
- Morning drags us kicking and wincing back into the light - a symbolic rebirth