Mondays: We tracked down an orphan-murdering demon to her manor, freed her captives, and then blew up an orange-ape demon in the foyer with a bunch of cursed candles. I hope the lady of the house appreciates our renovation job. Oh and we got attacked by two mimics, including one disguised as a carpet. Just because I wanted to save a nice carpety welcome mat for the orphans after we donated them the manor.  

Tuesdays: Veering from the standard pirating campaign into one of the players' hometowns, where we are attending a masquerade ball. The tiefling wizard is now armed with some fabulously bad dating advice, courtesy of my asexual monk. In my defense I couldn't think of any good dating advice when put on the spot, other than this story.

"You're not imagining this," Harry said deliberately. "If you don't shag me right this instant I'll go completely insane and throw myself off a bridge."

Ron opened and closed his mouth several times before he was able to speak. "Harry," he said finally, "would you believe that this is not the first time this has happened to me?"

Harry smiled and gave a what-can-you-do shrug as best he could with his hands tied to the headboard.

"Although," Ron continued, "Hermione's hat was not nearly as cool."

Harry's hat was pretty bloody cool, seeing as it was a Cinco de Mayo sombrero he'd bought from Ron's brothers for half price. Only he wouldn't mention that to Ron, because it would make Ron think the hat was less cool and more likely to kill him, and he was all about Ron thinking he was cool at the moment.

Saturdays: Bahamut blast it, the entire party got up and teleported to the feywilds, minus the half-orc druid (who was busy that week). This plays right into my Paladin's backstory and her deepest fears. We're gonna have to fight the charmed druid next session, along with a bunch of they fey-boss's minions. I'm going to take my smites and tear that hag a new one.