Visual Details

It's gorgeous - not since Skyrim have I stopped to take in the vibrant sunsets and the endless grassy fields. My AMD R9 380 carries it at near-high settings at 60FPS no problem.

The dialogue and voice acting hits all the right notes. The animation is beautifully subtle too... I realize it's hard to render realistic body language without going full Emiliia Clarke eyebrows, but I think the little eye movements made it work.

The quests were the best part. I realized I wasn't playing a typical game when I realized the Bloody Baron's questline was about domestic abuse (in all its forms). Then I turned a tree into a horse and thought, "what the fuck?" I think, in general, the best quests in games do have an element of bizarro "what the fuck" going on.

The side quests and the witcher contracts are also surprisingly well fleshed out too. Instead of "kill this dragon" you get things like "Arrrr a cow fell out of the sky and killed a miner" and use your CSI senses to figure out what happened.

Speaking of the CSI witcher senses I actually really enjoyed using them and hearing Geralt mutter to himself about what happened. Really makes him seem more competent and adds a lot of depth to the world's lore.

The music is really good. I'm not sure it's the most iconic I've ever heard but it's pretty good. I was ready to cringe when Priscilla was prepping to sing The Wolven Storm but it was actually really well executed.

Combat

And the combat was a joy. It wasn't Mass Effect 3, but the melee blows seemed to actually connect crunchily. The magic signs are potent. And the alchemy system is more powerful than ever. I respecc'd several times and settled on a hybrid build focussing on bombs and oils - not the most efficient ones, since bomb damage doesn't really scale - but the game is easy enough at level 40 anyways, and cluster bombs are fun!

Gwent

Gwent is by far the greatest fucking mini-game I've ever played. My Geralt was a raving gambling addict. I can't believe Shivani ignored the whole Gwent stuff.

On the other hand, the DLC Skellige Gwent faction is kinda rubbish. A tight, well-built Northern Kingdoms or Nilfgaardian Empire deck is unbeatable because of how powerful the spy, medic, and decoy combos are. The other factions are too vulnerable to Scorch-type effects.

I am the supreme emperor of Gwent.

The plot

Oh yeah, the plot. Well, "Where is my adopted daughter right now and how can I help her reach her full potential as a human being" sure beats "Kill the local equivalent of Satan." But speaking of which, the Wild Hunt's local equivalent of Satan - Eredin - is just about as bland as Corypheus in Dragon Age Inquisition, the Reapers in Mass Effect 3, and frickin' Alduin in Skyrim. Blech. I understand that the story really isn't about killing Eredin, King of the Wild Hunt, but is about Ciri's journey as a person, but really, would it have killed the developers to give Eredin and his folks a bit more complexity?

More about the writing
The first time I heard Geralt say "what the fuck" in the Witcher 1, I knew that I was in for something different. One advantage of having a preexisting protagonist rather than a blank slate is that he can be written with more consistency. The tone of the writing and plot is hot-headed, pessimistic, wicked, and fecund. I love that there is sometimes no right answer and that many of the choices make me feel like crap. But, while "what the fuck" is a perfectly valid response to many of the situations Geralt finds himself in, sometimes I think a game needs a little bit more punch. But then again, this is not an epic... it's a lot of short stories strung together in an imperfect world.

Other key lines:
"I'm a witcher, not a gigolo."
"Is it 1358 yet?" "No." "Then fuck off."
“I thought your mutations cleansed you of your humanity, stripped you of your emotions.” “You don’t need mutations to strip men of their humanity. I’ve seen plenty of examples.”
"You always were an unruly child. I adored that about you. Now fly."

 The conversation system is lovely and organic. The designated good/bad options aren't obvious. Actually, they don't exist at all. Different conversation options allow Geralt to express a wide range of opinions from "It's your funeral" to, verbatim, "I can't believe we fucked."

More problems

What didn't work for me was the massiveness of the world. Which is more my fault than the game's. Like many players, I feel compelled to investigate every single unexplored point of interest in the map. So there was a lot of trying to solve the travelling salesman problem on a horse. These points of interest might have a nice chunky sidequest, or more likely, a rubbish scavenger hunt quest or just some loot. I felt it really diluted the experience and increase my own rate of burnout.

I missed the more calculating feel of the Witcher 1 or 2, where potions can't be brewed or drunk in combat, but must be prepared and imbibed beforehand. But I realize such a system isn't so feasible in an open-world game, where you might plunge unexpectedly into a Nekker den and find yourself with a burning desire for necrophage oil and Tawny Owl.

Also, I got stuck in a particularly deep and narrow puddle in Velen, couldn't climb out, and had to reload. Luckily that was the only game-breaking glitch I encountered... but seriously, a puddle?

Why are so many of the armor options for Geralt ugly padded sweaters, or potbellied chest pieces?

Where are Saskia and Iorveth???

Romance

Disclaimer: I didn't read the books.

I went for Triss but it felt strange so I reloaded and went for Yen.

Triss did call the relationship with Yennefer toxic in the Witcher 2 and in some ways it really does seem so... and I do have some experience with these matters.

Yen has a lot of baggage and between the verbal sniping, brushing off Geralt's amnesia, and not telling Geralt anything, I wondered why anyone would choose her over Triss. But there feels more to her than Triss, who seemed to be consciously molding herself into someone appealing and desirable.

And Geralt is no angel. I slept with every single lady in the game, not for roleplaying reasons, but for fear of missing out on extra plot content. Well, maybe for roleplaying reasons.

But back to Yen. I thought, deep down, there was something there that resembled the way that a really long-term relationship grows. Geralt isn't really bothered by the sniping. Their puns are both horrible. It felt a little bit like the way that I sometimes poke Justin, when he pokes me back and then it devolves into a scrum with poking and gross face licking.

Interactions with Triss are more like that in a conventional game romance, where your love interest is nice to you, you kinda fall in love, and nobody licks anyone's face to annoy them.

DLC

The DLC is better than the main game, god damn.

Hearts of Stone has two memorable antagonists.  The whole thing is also a mashup of Geralt fulfilling a man's impossible requests and leads to subquests including a heist quest, a glorious drunken wedding, and an exploration of how love dies in a marriage. I just loved the concept of that twist on a fairy tale, which is one of the main themes in the Witcher series. This is a prime example of intertextuality done right.

Blood and Wine takes place in beautiful, sunny Toussaint. It's not as tight as Hearts of Stone but I found the detective tale in the land of foolishly chivalrous knights and snobby sommeliers to be equally engrossing. There's a literal nod at the end of the tale that definitely ends off Geralt's tale, at which point I giggled. I wish there was a fourth option for the ending though - the "bad" ending is really depressing, the "oops I'm an idiot" ending is unsatisfying, and the "good" ending is urealistically optimistic for a game set in this particular universe.

The Witcher 3 vs Dragon Age Inquisition: Trespasser

I still have confused feelings about The Witcher 3, thought. Without a doubt, the Witcher 3 is better than DAI. The combat is more fluid. The world design is more beautiful. The inventory system is more organized. The crafting is less annoying. The characters are fuller and more complex. DAI has a far weaker companion lineup than other games in the series (most notably, DA2...). The Witcher 3 has better boss fights. But somehow, no part of the Witcher made me sweat and clutch at myself like the Trespasser DLC at the end of DAI did. I assume it's because Trespasser centred around one of my favourite characters and had massive implications for the future of the franchise, and I felt like I'd actually impacted that character's growth, whereas in the Witcher, only Ciri really grows.

Also, the music in Trespasser is better.

The Witcher 3 vs Mass Effect 2

Alright, the Witcher 3 has more depth, better quests, and more realistic characters, but Mass Effect 2 has less filler, better combat, a better main quest and final mission, and more straight-up awesome moments.

Also, the music in Mass Effect 2 is better.

TLDR: Near-perfect game, could use less filler (well-executed as the filler might be), I love the pessimism but it did make me distance myself from the game a bit more, emotionally speaking.