Still need to write 1300 words for my editorial and finish an assignment.

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"Why would I say that if it weren't true?"
"I- I dunno, people say stuff like that when they don't really mean it."
"You ought to expect better of people. It encourages you to be a better person yourself. Also, maybe put some pants on."

Questionable Content #2081


Jeph Jacques isn't writing a morality tale for the ages but that strip has stuck with me since I read it.

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Lately I've been wondering what I really want out of anything, wondering if the occasional bursts of happiness admist what can only be described as an overcast, gusty November day in Mississauga are really worth it. It's not that I really want to die, but I would like to be happy, but I seem to have forgotten how to look forward to anything at all, or set goals, because it all feels trivial knowing that beyond that is more than just a desolate November. Anything that does make me happy - I know it won't last, I know that after that is more desolate nothings. To shut down my brain and pretend otherwise - well I'd have to shut down a lot of my brain. I.e. with alcohol.

So I've been hanging out on r/sanctionedsuicide and r/suicidewatch... and it's r/sanctionedsuicide that makes me feel any better, or try to understand anything. The same way that when I tell someone a problem it's not because I want a solution - it's because I want them to understand how difficult it is or how shitty I feel at that moment. Solutions make one feel that one regards the problem as trivial. Is it the blind leading the blind? If it's pitch black, does it matter?