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duinemerwen) wrote2022-10-09 10:57 pm
duinemerwen) wrote2022-10-09 10:57 pm
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Ronon vs Teal'c
As inspired by the Ronon vs Teal'c episode of Stargate Atlantis, I've developed a rough list of fighters across various skillsets and franchises that I would like to see beat each other up. Assume that these combatants are each armed for CQC with a ten-inch bowie knife, and their natural weapons.
APEX PREDATORS
By dint of experience, rage, or plain ol' biology, these fighters occupy the top of their respective food chains, and are pretty much unbeatable by anybody in the other categories.
- Xenomorph (Alien)
- Predator (predator)
- Wrex (Mass Effect) - remember, Wrex is not just a giant turtle. He has over a thousand years of fighting experience, a biotic barrier, and multiple redundant organ systems.
- Any Xeleyan in body armour (The Orville) - though they may not have anything particularly flashy, these guys can rip open blast doors without too much effort. I don't remembering anyone else on this list who did that.
- Doomslayer (DOOM)
Assassins
These guys aren't much stronger than the average human, but are very well prepared. If starting from stealth, they might have a fighting chance against the Apex Predators above.
- Thane (Mass Effect) - He knows how to take down a Krogan. But he'd really, really, rather not.
- John Wick (John Wick)
- Batman
Proud Warrior Race Guys
These are the guys who can run a marathon and then kick your ass, but otherwise aren't too far above a human in terms of raw strength and ability. I consider everyone on this list to be roughly equal in prowess.
- Worf (Star Trek)
- Spock (Star Trek)
- Ronon Dex (Stargate)
- Teal'c (Stargate)
- Data (Star Trek)
- Bobby, in power armour (The Expanse)
Space Magic
- River Tam (Firefly) - ? - has less combat experience than most of the others on this list, but is capable of hiding herself on a ceiling, and single-handedly taking down hundreds of Reavers. It's not really clear how her empathic abilities work, but I think she'd be able to use it defensively against opponents who project their emotions heavily (Wrex, Worf, etc.) But it would be less useful against those relying on animal instinct (Xenomorph), or simply don't project.
- Aria T'Loak (Mass Effect) - Aria canonically crushed the heart of at least one Krogan warlord (Patriarch). But in a fight requiring more tactical prowess (Predator), Endurance (again, Predator), or against an enemy immune to intimidation (Xenmorph), it's unsure how well she'd do.
Everyone Else
Non Combat Dudes
My personal thoughts on who would win a Baltar vs McKay battle is that, McKay could drop Baltar, but that Head-Six would just force Baltar to stand up again and again, and that McKay would end up running for the hills.
- Gaius Baltar (BSG)
- Rodney Meredith McKay (Stargate)
- Quark (Star Trek) - Nog is not on this list because Nog is actually a combat vet.
- Joker (Mass Effect) - "What does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?" "So their Marines have someone they can beat during hand-to-hand drills."
- McLovin (Superbad)
APEX PREDATORS
By dint of experience, rage, or plain ol' biology, these fighters occupy the top of their respective food chains, and are pretty much unbeatable by anybody in the other categories.
- Xenomorph (Alien)
- Predator (predator)
- Wrex (Mass Effect) - remember, Wrex is not just a giant turtle. He has over a thousand years of fighting experience, a biotic barrier, and multiple redundant organ systems.
- Any Xeleyan in body armour (The Orville) - though they may not have anything particularly flashy, these guys can rip open blast doors without too much effort. I don't remembering anyone else on this list who did that.
- Doomslayer (DOOM)
Assassins
These guys aren't much stronger than the average human, but are very well prepared. If starting from stealth, they might have a fighting chance against the Apex Predators above.
- Thane (Mass Effect) - He knows how to take down a Krogan. But he'd really, really, rather not.
- John Wick (John Wick)
- Batman
Proud Warrior Race Guys
These are the guys who can run a marathon and then kick your ass, but otherwise aren't too far above a human in terms of raw strength and ability. I consider everyone on this list to be roughly equal in prowess.
- Worf (Star Trek)
- Spock (Star Trek)
- Ronon Dex (Stargate)
- Teal'c (Stargate)
- Data (Star Trek)
- Bobby, in power armour (The Expanse)
Space Magic
- River Tam (Firefly) - ? - has less combat experience than most of the others on this list, but is capable of hiding herself on a ceiling, and single-handedly taking down hundreds of Reavers. It's not really clear how her empathic abilities work, but I think she'd be able to use it defensively against opponents who project their emotions heavily (Wrex, Worf, etc.) But it would be less useful against those relying on animal instinct (Xenomorph), or simply don't project.
- Aria T'Loak (Mass Effect) - Aria canonically crushed the heart of at least one Krogan warlord (Patriarch). But in a fight requiring more tactical prowess (Predator), Endurance (again, Predator), or against an enemy immune to intimidation (Xenmorph), it's unsure how well she'd do.
Everyone Else
Non Combat Dudes
My personal thoughts on who would win a Baltar vs McKay battle is that, McKay could drop Baltar, but that Head-Six would just force Baltar to stand up again and again, and that McKay would end up running for the hills.
- Gaius Baltar (BSG)
- Rodney Meredith McKay (Stargate)
- Quark (Star Trek) - Nog is not on this list because Nog is actually a combat vet.
- Joker (Mass Effect) - "What does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?" "So their Marines have someone they can beat during hand-to-hand drills."
- McLovin (Superbad)