Dudes. You have to check out this website.

It's an AI that looks at your listening habits and then reads you for filth.

Beware, the algorithm sometimes gets hung up in the early questions - it only affects your results a little bit. 

> Your spotify was upscale-myspace-music-movie-soundtrack-love-your-npr-tote bad.
> Thank your obsessions with Halsey, soundtrack (e.g., Bear McCreary and Howard Shore), and Grimes for that.
> Based on your listening habits, I can also tell you your Spotify was...
> folklore-evermore-dumbledore-witch-pop bad
> artpop-apologist bad
> cling-clang-pots-and-pans-music bad
> former-child-star bad
> motherfucking-starboy bad
> Here's what else I learned in that hellscape:

You listen to these too much:
Apex by Unleash The Archers
One Second by Delain
Sweet Curse by ReVamp
Energize Me by After Forever
Burning Bridges by Delain

You stan these artists to an uncomfortable extent:
Taylor Swift
The Weeknd
Halsey
Death Cab for Cutie
Jimmy Eat World

You are 13% basic. Elyose and Thea Gilmore? Where do you even find this?.

You're stuck in the early 2010s. You only listen to Obama-era jams like Winterbreak by MUNA and Empty Gold by Halsey.

Analysis completed in 4.012 exhausting seconds.

I guess the important thing is that your music makes you feel good...

Shutting down.

 There are 78 cards in a standard tarot deck, and 22 of them are Major Arcana. The chances of pulling a major on a single draw are about one in four, and it decreases with every subsequent major pulled. The chances of pulling five majors in a single five-card spread is 0.12%. 

Well it happened. I don't even read the cards that often. It's a doozy. I'll let you guess the query. 

Past: The Hierophant, reversed
The Hierophant represents conformity, religion, and tradition. The Hierophant reversed represents breaking with those traditions. I typically read it as rebellion for rebellion's sake, a contrarian, someone who enjoys debate. In this position of the spread, the Hierophant reversed symbolizes a habitual shit-disturber. 

Present: Strength, reversed 
In my preferred deck, Strength is portrayed as Janet wrestling Tam Lin as the faerie queen turns into a lion, a crocodile, and a bear in rapid succession. Strength refers to strength of will, quiet confidence, and patience. Strength reversed - well, I think it symbolizes punching down, being "casually cruel in the name of honest," that sort of thing. Someone who's weak, who lashes out to hide that weakness. 

Future: The Tower
The art for this one is great too - Rapunzel and her prince plunge from a tower into a maze of brambles. Unfortunately, the Tower represents Doom! Disaster! Despair!

Influences: Judgement
This card depicts the Monkey King beholding the Buddha's fingers at the end of the world. I... don't really understand how to interpret this card most of the time. Intuition? Enlightenment? Blah. Its counterpart, Justice, is a lot easier. Maybe that's the point. That I don't really grok that kind of thing. The charitable interpretation would be to say that Judgement here represents the end of a journey and the beginning of another, but I don't remember doing that recently. 

Anyways, this was the point where I realized I'd drawn four majors in a row, and wouldn't it be cool if I drew one more? And then I saw which one it was, and then I died. 

Potential: The Devil, reversed
The Devil represents the pure id, the temptations of bad decisions, the thrill of obsession. I don't read the Devil card as anything other than mad, bad, and dangerous to know - i.e. I don't consider the reversed Devil to be about breaking bad habits, but about the dissatisfaction and guilt that may follow indulgence. I hate this card. 



Also, I'm concerned as to why it was this query that caused five majors to be pulled. Statistically, this is unlikely to happen again for at least another decade. Why is this question so important? Why is the answer so important? What am I going to do with this answer? 

Honestly, I had a very specific query in mind when I asked this question, but the answer is just so broad. 

A habitual contrarian (me) tends to bottle things up and then lash out at people, and this is not a sustainable pattern. I need to... get my act together, and stop doing this, because even though acting in a certain way can seem right and authentic in the moment, I'm just going to feel bad about it at the end of the day.