context: the biomech prof would like us to write 300 words on what we learned big-picture wise in biomech, and bring it into the final exam.



Forget it. Argh. I can't deal with that right now. I thought I was ok but honestly I still have more issues than the Iron Warrior newspaper right now. And it was going so well. But now it's just arghhhhhhhhh. I tried other coping mechanisms on the list - taking a walk, talking it out with Mon, showering, changing clothes, eating, upbeat music, and downer music, but honestly i still feel like shit and it's all my fault. The problem is that I'm selfish and self-centred like Toronto is the centre of the universe. If I wasn't stupid like that I could let myself be happy. But nope. Nope.

Yknow what triggered it? Watching Gravity Falls. I watched it and thought about my unwillingness to commit and and how normal people let themselves be happy and know what's good for them, and meanwhile on Albert St...

So, Throwback Thursday Saturday Sunday  I'm going to do the 300 word statement on paper. And while I do it I'm going to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and cry it all out until I can't anymore, or until I fall asleep. And if that doesn't work I'll put on My Best Friend's Wedding and 500 Days of Summer.

And if THAT doesnt do the trick I'll try Grave of the Fireflies, Requiem for a Dream,

Booyah. .

I have watched this movie three times in total. Twice in 2013. Once today. Cried like a baby. Couldn't stop, either. I wish I knew why but I can't even begin to understand this movie or anything or life and the universe and everything. Did the movie mean the same to me in the first viewing as the third? Did something change? Should I even know? How could anyone think this was a comedy?

And I don't feel better. I didn't write the biomech statement, either. I shouldn't have watched that today.

What a productive night. 

Went geocaching with bros! Found three of them before sunset! Finally have finds to my account... which has existed since 2006. Because of Grade 9 geography, lol. Don't know why I never tried this earlier, it was a lot of fun!

Then I made pancakes and pasta.

--

You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
Because I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid

-- Joan Baez - Diamonds and Rust

( QUESTIONS, NO ANSWERS )
Anyways, I feel a lot better now, and don't feel motivated to try watching Blue Valentine after all, but I'll be reading A Grief Observed. Tally ho.