Thursday
During the UW orchestra concert, I felt like I was falling in love again.

No joke. That particular mix of shame, tension, terror, and reckless exhilaration was unmistakable. Part of the fear came from the fact that they hadn't rehearsed very often during the term, so I was very anxious on their behalf, hoping that they wouldn't screw up. And they were shaky at points, but not salvageably so.

I don't think I've felt as strongly about anything in a while, but it was mostly because feeling it was so unexpected.

Anyways after it was over I felt down, so four of us voted to go to Front Row and split pitchers (over bubble tea).

Friday
I was exploring campus, mostly looking for the highest points on campus. Wandered through the 4th floor of DC, 6th floor of E5, and had tea in a thermos in the DP stairwell on the 10th floor.

Now
Even if it doesn't work... I resolve to work to be the fondly-remembered-ex, instead of the life-ruiner-ex.

I have some ways to go yet.

Campsite rule: Leave them better than you found them.

Also I haven't showered since Wednesday. This is bad.

In a few hours
I'm going to see Engplay!

I am also going to buy some spinach, some mushrooms, and some pie crust.

In a week or so
I've insisted that someone else watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy with me. Again. For their first time. Hopefully I won't screw it up for them this time, but the love I publicly express for the trilogy will probably have unrealistically inflated their expectations, resulting in disappointment -________-"

Though, honestly, I was confused as hell as a 9yo during FotR. I mean, I definitely loved TTT and RotK the first time I watched it, but it was a little bit difficult getting there.

I think that the Lord of the Rings trilogy is the epitome of love.

It was undeniably a labour of love: the workmanship, the dedication, the depth of detail. Even the compromises made during the adaptation of the source material and in light of time constraints, and the bittersweet tone of the ending were beautifully executed.

I don't think that I would if I would have fallen in love with film had I not seen the Lord of the Rings.

It is probably a healthier model of love to follow than the relationships that I actually hold with people.

Things that my love of the LotR trilogy should have taught me about relationships by now

• Don't let love of something prevent you from seeing the flaws.


• Don't let surface flaws stop you from loving something.


• Love goes beyond appreciation of story and craftsmanship.


• Find something new to enjoy with every viewing. Neither people nor the film are gonna change fundamentally in personality - you'll only perceive a change.

Things about my love of the LotR trilogy that doesn't apply to people

• LotR might enjoy sharing, but people don't.

Will refine ideas later